Have you ever had a moment where you feel completely drained after being in the presence of a friend, coworker, etc and don’t just understand why? Do you have that friend, family member, co-worker, etc that you constantly feel drained from?
I have had the opportunity to have some of the most beautiful conversations this week with fascinating souls.
One of so many topics was “settling vs compromising”. To understand which you are exhibiting you have to know what you want.
Do you REALLY know what you want?
I’m not talking cosmetically. You’ve gotta go deeper. What do you want out of life? What characteristics do you value most in your relationships? What do you feel is missing?
To know what you want, you must REALLY know yourself. Not just hobbies, zodiac signs, etc. but really remove the surface level white noise and consider what YOU want in the characteristics of the people you surround yourself with.
But what if what I want changes? Understanding that some people, including ourselves in others lives, are here for a season. Which is essential in teaching and learning lessons. It’s imperative to appreciate that as you move forward.
It’s HARD… like, really really hard!
Letting go is a difficult task. It is sad and hard but continuing to surround yourself with friends that no longer serve you creates scars. Worse, it can alter or halt the growth and journey of everyone involved. It’s unkind.
Why is understanding what you WANT important?
Simply put, understanding what you want in any form of relationships allows you to attract those people into your space. Understanding the behaviors and characteristics you desire in those you hold closest allows the universe to provide those things to you.
Shifting your mindset to “these are the characteristics I value in my relationships (friends, partners, co-workers, and business partners etc)” allows the universe to provide them to you.
Holding onto the idea that people belong to you (in any aspect) causes you to seek change IN THEM. Their journey is not yours. Furthermore, it hinders your own journey because it becomes emotionally draining and stunting. Focusing on the characteristics of people YOU want to be surrounding by allows the universe to provide them in many different bodily forms.
How do I change it?
I’m not at all recommending you cut people out of your life or turn your back on people in your space. The goal is to get to a headspace where you are confident and comfortable saying ‘it’s okay if the capacity of our relationship changes. It’s okay to give effort and be around. I am simply no longer going to view (insert relevant relationship) as something more to me than it is to ____’.
It is important to understand that just because someone isn’t showing up the way YOU think they should does not make them a bad person or in the wrong. They simply aren’t serving you in the way YOU want them to. Approach them with love, understanding, and kindness throughout this transition. Understanding that this change/transition is about YOU. It is not on them.
Once you are able to reach this mindset with acceptance and gratitude, you are able to attract those people into your space. As long as you yourself are in a mindset of acceptance to change.
The last couple+ years have been so exhausting. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. It is time to ease the tension. When you are purposeful with your time, you are able to present the beauty of who you truly are to the world. You eliminate the "white noise" and allow yourself to live in a free spirit state. To truly cultivate and build the best version of yourself in health, wealth, and relationships.
My personalized guidance programs can help you get there if you are:
Tired of feeling drained by those that should fill your cup.
Ready to trust and put the work in to get there.
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