What does co-dependency mean to you?
Interesting Fact - “Codependency” is a word that wasn’t used until 1941 with a psychoanalyst names Karen Horney discovered the phenomenon of codependency and used it as a label for individuals that REPLACE their needs with others. We have gotten away from her original findings which indicated that co-dependency is attributed to anxiety and a lack of self-confidence.
Misconceptions and truths
What if I told you it reached FAR beyond a toxic relationship or narcissistic spouse? That co-dependency is a trait that reaches far into every other aspects on our lives? Co-dependency can show up in ANY relationship. The majority of conversations and resources around this topic go to relationships with partners but I see this all the time parent-child relationships, friendships, and co-workers/leadership at work just as often.
What if I told you that co-dependency is usually wrapped with a nice little bow on top and feels a lot like giving love? ❤️ Or that I can teach the difference to stop the self-sabotage that co-dependency causes? What if I told you that the internal strain that comes codependency is so draining on your body that it physically ages faster?
— PLEASE NOTE — I am not questioning someone’s love for another. Or saying that you have to break ties to stop the cycle. This work can certainly be done "in house" and I encourage it whenever possible. It is challenging but can actually strengthen existing relationships or set you up for a healthier next one.
Working together
The beauty of tackling co-dependency together is not the work it takes to get there but the result! The dynamic of your relationship can actually improve and grow because you are no longer in NEED of each other's presence but instead WANT/DESIRE it. Allowing people to grow individually within but within the relationship allows them to be the best version of themselves. This shift allows freedom within the relationship and can even eliminate the desire to 'escape' which can present itself through being over-worked, rebellion/distance, pulling away, and the straying eye.
Okay... so where do you start?
Everything starts with a conversation. A willingness to identify problems within ourselves. To be kind and loving in feedback. To learn how to communicate things that are not easy to vocalize. To set loving/professional boundaries.
An important person in my journey says ‘the best mistakes to learn from are someone else’s’.
I’m here to tell you I have made A LOT of mistakes along the way.
Now I’m having fun sharing the journey, guiding people through the process, highlighting solutions to common mistakes, and helping people retain, build, or prepare for long-lasting love and relationships.
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